I was scheduled to go to Lexington at 6:30 a.m. on Friday morning, the 3rd of March in 2006 to have a blood test (beta) to see if I was pregnant and if the IVF cycle worked. I swore to myself that I was going to wait until then and not test at home before my scheduled appointment b/c too many things about the at home test could be mis-interpreted that early in the game. However, on the 28th of February I was 8 days past my 3 day transfer, and I had heard of women getting positive results at home that early after their transfers. After coming home from work on the evening of the 28th (a Tuesday), I decided "what the hell?" and tested, telling myself that I wouldn't read too much into it if it was negative and reminding myself over and over again that it was still early. I didn't tell Bill what I was doing. I peed and I waited. Tick tock tick tock tick tock. Do you have any idea how long 3 minutes is when you have just peed on a pregnancy test stick? I decided that I didn't want to know what the answer was and before the 3 minutes was up, I put the test stick in the bottom drawer of our bathroom sink/counter. I walked out of the bathroom. I wasn't ready for another month of devastation, another month of needles, blood work, ultrasounds, monitoring. I wasn't ready to learn that our dream had been crushed...again. However, I wasn't quite ready to let that thing sit in my drawer and not know what it said, so I went back in and pulled it out. As I looked at it, I saw something that I thought I was never going to see - ever. For the first time in over 2 years of trying to start a family, I saw a pregnancy test that wasn't negative.
We all know how this story turns out. 4 years ago today our dream of starting a family after such a long and difficult journey finally came true.
Here is what our kitchen counter looked like for just one cycle of IVF by the way.
No comments:
Post a Comment